Does anyone else suffer from what Levi and I refer to as responsibilititis? That is, the feeling that you must be "responsible" by doing necessary things (e.g. laundry, dishes, etc.) before even thinking about having fun or taking a moment for yourself.
Lately, things have been so busy with the move and work that responsibilititis has me overwhelmed. Every night that Levi works, I cook him dinner and get him out the door, do the dishes, put on a load of laundry, water the plants, attempt unpacking boxes if there's time and squeeze in some Bible reading before I fall into bed (still at a somewhat decent hour so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow).
After a week of a bad case of responsibilititis, I decided I needed to have fun tonight. I was disappointed Levi had to work, but I planned to get a good magazine (while I was at the store getting corn for tomorrow's fellowship lunch at church - responsibilititis strikes again!) and devour it in a bubble bath.
Well, I got the magazine but then proceeded to sit on the couch with it while I stared at the laundry that needed folding and thought about the dishes yet to be done in the kitchen. I had to fight responsibilititis because I've been realizing lately that life is too short to never let yourself rest, rejuvenate, be creative and have fun!
I have to admit, though, that while trying to fight off the feeling of guilt I had about not doing "chores," I began to feel completely overwhelmed to the point that I cried. Can you believe it? Who CRIES about not doing chores??? What's wrong with me?! I should mention that, due to the busyness of the last few weeks, it seems that my evenings spent doing chores only accomplish the tasks necessary to keep our household going, so I never get to things like unpacking or decorating (things I desperately want to do). This has left me feeling even more busy and even more behind, so I feel extra-guilty for taking time for myself.
To make matters worse, I especially feel like I have to get chores done while Levi's gone to work. I know he doesn't expect me to run myself ragged, but I feel like there is a (Emily-made) expectation for me to not just sit around doing whatever I feel like all evening. And, while Levi's great about helping, he just simply doesn't have time to help on the days he works between long shifts and sleep time. That leaves me to do the chores that need doing most nights of the week.
How can I get past this? Does anyone deal with a similar struggle to balance work and play? I don't have a problem allowing myself to play, it's just that I have a hard time not feeling guilty while I'm playing if there's a long list of to-dos. I still want/need to be responsible and get things done, but I need to take time for myself, too! Thoughts?
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I deal with the same struggle. Justin doesn't, and it drives him crazy that I have such a hard time not doing things around the house.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gotten past it, but I have gotten better. I just block it out. It's taken me a while to learn how to do this, but it does work. There is only so much I can on an average day/evening, and I refuse to run myself ragged all of the time. My body and mind just can't take it.
How about planning a simple meal a few nights a week that can cut down on your cooking & clean-up time. That way you can still eat together, but you don't have a ton of dishes/pots to clean up once Levi heads to work and you can take a little time to do something relaxing. Sandwiches or even take-out still get the job done and may help save your sanity, especially after working all day.
ReplyDeleteI hate to tell you, but there is ALWAYS something that needs to be done (and can wait), but the world won't come to an end if a chore waits one extra day. Trust me, it will only get crazier when you add a pet or small person to the mix and you'll think, what did I used to do with all of that extra time?!
I struggle with the same thing, Emily! I run myself into the ground all the time. All that said, I'm not sure how to help you, but maybe we can work on this together!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lindsay. I believe that you are trying to be too "perfect"!
ReplyDeleteThere is ALWAYS some chore to do, but part of your "responsibility" is to take care of yourself so you are a better wife, employee, daughter, aunt , etc. I also did not hear about any kind of date time for you and Levi even if it is just going for ice cream. Time for yourself just increases your energy to handle the other "responsibilities". Your body is talking to you if you have reached the crying stage. You need some R&R!!!!!! End of speech from THE MOM!
Hmmmm....I wonder if THE MOM is following her own advice!?
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