Reflections on Parenting

This post has been brewing over several months and with another epiphany today, it became time to write it. From a Christian perspective, I've often heard it said that parenting helps you realize the sins in your own life because you see them displayed in your children. While that's true - already I've noticed Nora's selfishness, impatience, quickness to anger, and other sins I often un-proudly exhibit - I've also found parenting teaches me so much about my own relationship with God. This was a surprise to me, as I had only been told to expect to see my sins, not my Savior.

I've been convicted on many occasions through my short response to Nora's whines or cries that seem to be without reason (from my perspective). How often do we whine or cry to God about insignificant, meaningless things and yet God is never short with us. He is always compassionate, caring and listening. He doesn't always fix or take away whatever is bothering us at that moment, but he never responds with "you're just being ridiculous," which is sadly how I've responded to Nora at times. This realization has helped me to sometimes stop and change my response in these moments, though I wish I could say I responded in a more Christ-like way every time.

Tonight, God showed me more truths about our relationship when I put Nora to bed. She's getting her third and fourth teeth and isn't eating well, so nap time and bedtime have been a struggle. I had tried putting her down three times with no success and had given her food, milk and Tylenol. Still, when I left her room the last time, she started screaming. I knew she was probably standing in her crib and had thrown her pacifier across the room. I felt defeated and, with Levi at work, I felt I had no other option but to let her cry.

As I stood outside her room listening to her cry and yell "Mama" - which she will only say when begging me to save her from sleep - the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. This scenario is just like the one that plays out between us and God. We often beg for God to save us from something that He knows will ultimately be for our good, just as Nora was begging me to save her from the sleep that I know will be for her good by helping her grow and learn. I pray that by seeing this picture played out in my life that I will trust God more fully, knowing that He always works for the good of those who love Him.

I've only been a parent for 12 months, yet I have already learned so much spiritually. I'm thankful for this sanctification, though it's often hard, and I look forward how much more God will use Nora to teach me about Him.

Oh, how I long for the day when I in Heaven am made perfect like Christ. Come, Lord Jesus.